Natural game is one of those terms that’s difficult to define. What people usually mean when they talk about “natural game” is relying less on a structured progression and more on conversational improvisation, inner game development and connecting with women on an emotional level.
Developing a more well-rounded personality and having good conversational skills are qualities that will be very helpful when approaching Asian girls in any country.
This article will discuss how to improve your game to attract Asian women in a natural way by using strong conversational skills that allow the best aspects of your personality show.
The two core skill-sets of natural game are inner game development and verbal improvisation. These two skills are essential for improving your game and upping your chance of success when doing cold approach pickup.
The major advantages of working on improvisation skills are that you’ll be able to better vibe with the girl, hold her attention for longer periods and you won’t run out of things to say or “stall out” as often when you’re in set. Inner game development will help you show the best sides of your personality and you’ll come across as a balanced, healthy and well-adjusted person. All traits that are important for attraction.
The downsides to natural game thinking is a tendency to over-simplify important concepts and favor vague language over specific language when talking about the skill of pickup. This can make it difficult to review what went well or what you should improve on when reflecting or analyzing your approaches.
The way I like to think of it is that natural game skill development will help you become a more attractive person overall while strategic, structured game thinking will help you improve your chances of success in any individual interaction. You should study and practice both for the best results!
Getting Your Head Right: Inner Game 101
The best way to think about inner game is as the operating system that your game runs on. It includes your overall state of mind, opinions you have about yourself and the girls you want to meet. You want to remove negative thought patterns and replace them with positive, constructive patterns that encourage you to improve and take the right actions. The more you have your inner game sorted out, the easier it will be to run solid pickup when you’re meeting girls.
Have a self-improvement mindset
The first most important thing to remember is that no matter what level you’re at right now, you can become better. This can relate to everything in your life: in school, work, fitness and, of course, dating!
Once you believe you can improve, then you start taking responsibility for all aspects of your life.
Remember that pickup and interacting with girls is a skill and it’s something you can learn and improve.
You don’t need to be ‘in state’ to do the right thing
A lot of guys make the mistake of feeling like they need to be ‘in-state’ to approach girls or to have their sets go well. They rely on positive emotions to make them take the right action instead of just identifying what they should be doing and taking action regardless.
Relying on a good state to approach girls is kind of like not wanting to go to work because you feel tired or lazy. You probably can’t make that excuse with your job or other social obligations so you shouldn’t make it with girls.
Usually, the act of approaching (even when you’re in a bad mood) will generate some positive emotions and after a few interactions, you’ll feel much better than you did when you first started.
Why should girls want to be with YOU?
It’s a good idea to write down all of the qualities that would make a girl want to date you.
What makes your personality attractive? Do you have any interesting skills or hobbies? What are some of your most interesting life experiences or stories you could share? Do you have interesting friends?
When you have a good idea of why girls would be attracted to you, your interactions will be much more congruent and girls will definitely notice that.
Sharpening Your Improv Skills
One way to think of pickup is essentially as improvisational (improv) acting. If you’re not familiar with improv, it’s essentially acting out a scene without a script. So, the actors are inventing the scene as they’re performing it. No one knows what will happen, which adds an element of surprise and authenticity to it.
Here’s a classic improv skit by Improv Everywhere where a boy pretends to be Harry Potter at a train station and interacts with strangers in-character.
Improv acting is essentially the art of making normal conversations interesting and engaging. While improv is very free-flowing, there are still some rules and reminders that can help you improve your improv skills.
Never Say ‘No’
This is the golden rule of improv acting. What it means is that you should never let a conversation ‘die’ because you don’t know what to say or because the person you’re talking to isn’t responding the way you want them to.
Sometimes when you’re talking to an Asian girl, you may not be getting a very encouraging response. Maybe the girl isn’t paying much attention to you, or maybe her English levels are low so she feels shy or embarrassed to speak English. It’s important to be able to run a conversation even when you’re not getting much response from the girl. It may take a few minutes for an Asian girl to warm up to talking to a stranger (remember: in Asian culture, it’s not very common to have a conversation with someone you don’t already know).
This tactic of being able to talk without much input from girls is often called “monologuing” and can be very effective in countries like Japan and Korea where girls don’t necessarily have a “script” for talking to strangers.
It might feel uncomfortable at first, but you’ll gradually get used to it. A good way to practice this technique is to sit down with a friend and take turns monologuing for a set time limit (for example: 2 minutes) while the other person ignores you.
Always say ‘yes, and…’
The second rule of improv is that you should always try to add something new at every step of the conversation. Don’t expect an Asian girl to give you new information, because she very often won’t (especially within the first couple minutes of a pickup). It’s your job to be making the conversation interesting for her and to generate topics to talk about or fun things to get her emotionally engaged.
Making assumptions about the girl, using humor, playful teasing and role-playing are all fun ways to add new content to the conversation and keep the girl emotionally engaged early in the interaction.
Don’t be afraid to try new things
Remember the saying “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?”
One of the most effective ways to get better at pickup is to experiment with new things and try new stuff in your interactions. What will happen when you socialize with girls more often is that you’ll notice some things you say will get better responses than other things.
As you keep practicing, you’ll find certain stories or comments will be so effective in conversation that you can use them again in the future to get the same effect.
If you’re not happy with the results you’re getting, you should probably try stuff that’s different from what you’re normally doing.