Guys learning game and in the pickup community tend to have a lot of sexual desires in their shadows.
In Owning Your Own Shadow the author says that you can think of your shadow and your persona as being on opposite sides of a scale and that the two have to be in balance. You can do that, either by actively finding ways to express your shadow, or by moving things over from your shadow into your persona(ie learning to make those things part of the character you portray to others).
I think that this is why guys who learn game, become waaaaay more balanced as people. They find healthy ways(through relationships with women, short or long term) to express the sexual side that they’ve been repressing for lack of satisfactory outlets.
In men I would say that one major part of the shadow side of their sexuality is the rapist. In women, I’d say the shadow side is the whore/slut(which of course brings ust Pretty Woman and Titanic, but more on that later).
So, the rapist wants to have sex with a woman just because he finds her physically attractive. The internal DNA instructions are saying, “IMPREGNATE HER!” which comes out in normal human language as, “Holy shit, I want to fuck that girl!” or some variation thereof.
Instead of slinking off into the corner and masterbating(though they may still do that too) is that guys can also indulge in their fantasies by walking up to the girl and actually opening up the possibility of having a relationship(sexual or otherwise) without vilolating any social rules.
This is a huge leap.
I knew this guy who if a girl had sex with him, she was automatically a slut. It was the weirdest thing and reminded me of the old Graucho Marx quote, “I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER.”
But when you look at this behavior from the concept of the shadow it begins to make total sense. If he’s expressing aspects of himself that shouldn’t be expressed(ie are not acceptable in society) then any woman who accepts that part of him undermines his persona and must be degraded and discarded(ie “sacrificed”).
In some ways, the situation of women in the early nineteenth century
has become generalized in the early twenty-first. The outlets for male bad
behavior—war, dirty politics, the institution of mistresses and courtesans—
have faded away; today, not just women but men are supposed to be emi¬
nently civilized and reasonable. And many have a hard time living up to
this. As children we are able to vent the darker side of our characters, a side
that all of us have. But under pressure from society (at first in the form
of our parents), we slowly repress the naughty, rebellious, perverse streaks
in our characters. To get along, we learn to repress our dark sides, which
become a kind of lost self, a part of our psyche buried beneath our polite