First, the definition(taken from


1. an exciting or very unusual experience.

2. participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises: the spirit of adventure.

3. a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.

4. a commercial or financial speculation of any kind; venture.

Common wisdom is that everyone and especially women like adventure but as with most common wisdom, while it’s not quite wrong, it’s far from entirely right.

So, last time I was in Seoul again, I found myself once AGAIN looking for a new girl.  With my rather unconventional lifestyle and frequent travel, it’s worked out that every time I’ve gotten a girl here, the relationship hasn’t continued when I’ve returned.

This is frustratingly annoying to say the least.  There are some guys that are always out for novelty and the thrill of the hunt, but that’s not my bag.  As a friend of mine said, “I don’t like to hunt ’em, I like to farm ’em!”

While I’ve been here I’ve had a chance to chill out, read, exercise and muse over things while living with eNeRGy, and BlueM and Vision just upstairs.  That means I get a constant stream of data about the pickup and dating scene here and of course a broad range of guys coming at it from different angles.

And while I was walking down to get some food from the local “Kimbap Heaven” restaurant, I had a realization about the nature of adventure and what it means when it comes to dating and relationships.

We make a big mistake when we assume that more is better.  So if you take a guy who enjoys his typical 9-5 job and is gradually working his way up the corporate ladder and enjoys rock climbing on weekends, that’s pretty cool.  No doubt about that.

But it begs the question, of whether the guy who sold his company for tens of millions of dollars and now spends his time traveling the world living where he wants to live when he wants to live there, is better. 

This second guy is definitely more exciting and adventurous but he’s beyond the comfort zone of most women.  Even though they may be very interested and think it’s a extremely cool lifestyle, that’s a far cry from actually being with him.

The vast majority of women would go with guy number 1 any day of the week over guy number 2. 

And the reason is that guy number 2 is a big risk.  She has to leave her regular work-a-day lifestyle, quit her job, give up her career so she can have no idea where she’ll be or what she’ll be doing 6 months from now.

And that is more pressure than most women can bear–especially asian women.

I was thinking about this recently because I’m here in Phuket, Thailand which is a developing country at best and even here, women are not rushing to marry a foreigner and run off to Europe or America.  They want to stay here where it’s comfortable.

I was talking to a long term resident here and he said that most guys think they’ll come over here, find a “nice” woman and take her bag, but more often than not, when he sends that money over for a plane ticket instead of buying a ticket she gets herself some new clothes and gold for her mom.

That explains a lot, but now you’re wondering how you can use this information and I’ll cover that in another post.